First Blogspot posting.....Here goes

So i am reading Bid by Bird, Annie Lamott. My sister and best friend gave this to me with the other three Annie Lamott books i wanted :). She is just that kind of sister, you say hey i like this author and she gives you the entire collected works of said author. I guess we are kind of a pair like that, i am forever giving away jewelry, time, clothes, food, and or money anytime someone expresses a desire for it. I am not sure if this self giving is an expression of love for others as much as a giving away of myself. I spend a lot of time thinking about my own motives in being and open book and open giving person. My mother is the most generous person with limited resources the world has ever seen. She would bring home homeless people, feed and house entire families in our house, sometimes not even our home!! Once we were visiting my grandmother in her rather expensive Chicago hi-rise condo on the river. I was in the living room watching television and my mother brought in this very dirty woman who was obviously homeless. My mom was turning on the shower and getting clothes out of my grandmother's closet and having this woman wash up and get dressed. I was amazed that my mom the woman who is afraid of the dark and anything that goes bump in it would bring a total stranger into someone else's house and invite them to eat with us....
I think the more i fight becoming my mother there are some attributes that i will not escape~
So when a friend says hey i love those earings, i tend to say here have them :) and i never think twice about it until someone points out that i just gave away a pair of earings i liked. Now don't get me wrong i don't give everything i love away but in reality i rarely love things. I have never valued a thing more than a person and its that person's love i want to keep to myself. So is it buying love that we do when we give away ourselves? Or is it a part of loving and being free to give and recieve equally. I really hope it is the second with me!! I mean i have rarely ever asked for a thing and not recieved it...for that matter its the rare occasion that i have asked for someone's love and not recieved it. So maybe that is the gift of it all~ if you are freely giving you can freely recieve. I wonder if my mom is able to recieve the love as easily as she gives......
Another blog for another time i suppose~