The cancer killing real Relationships is the same that's killing effective Organizations

One recurring theme that has recently struck me is that the structure of a successful marriage or relationship is the same as that of an organization be it non-for-profit or a for-profit entity.......
Look at it in three parts:

1)Coming together in a common stated theme or goal...an agenda agreed upon by the group; In marriage it usually setting plans as a couple for the goals you want to reach together...children how to raise them and pay for them...travel...home ownership...All of those things have to be stated goals for their maximum fruition right~ Organizations are the same...NAACP advancing the cause of Colored people...fighting injustice and being an advocate for those who need one....Corporations drive to succeed in making as much profit as possible....

2)Strong Concise leadership...this is where its gets sticky~When it comes to a marriage if you are practitioner any Abrahamic faiths you are taught to believe the Husband is the innate natural leader and if you are a Christian in particular you will be familiar with the Scripture that says "The Husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the Church" that's where folks seem to fall off...Organizations have similar edicts no matter its lack of religiosity.....Strong leadership is imperative for the efficacy of a group in reaching its aim. The democratic method still has a figure head and central leadershipPrime example being the United States of America...under poor leadership we have suffered greatly....On a smaller but no less important scale I liken the example of the NAACP....Nationally this organization has faltered due in large part to lack of strong concise leadership.....The difference is palpable in the accomplishments of the group under Kwesi Mfume verses his numerous successors....Locally here in Houston I have experienced this same phenomena with the Citizen's Chamber...recently they announced that they would not be continuing the Tenure of their current CEO....It's amazing to me that under his leadership they have come out of relative obscurity and made great headway for real distinction...Not being a native of Houston I have a very different vantage point and my work allows me to experience the efficacy of this organization juxtaposed to others with similar stated goals......The news of his dismissal brings me to my third and final point....

3)Active submission.....Whenever a person says submission I immediately come to the word Islam...its very definition is to submit or surrender to God's will.... I love this word and wish more Christians would learn to follow its imperative~ In a relationship/marriage one person must submit to the other person's directive...now don't shoot me on site my feminist sisters....subservience is not the same as submission ~ In a marriage if we are to follow the directive of Christ ...women will submit to their husband's leadership and follow him in reaching the shared vision..remember what was stated previously about shared common goals...these are supposed to be the point coming together in this union...so the wife's input is Imperative to the goal...and equally so is the submission to the plan of attack....Organizations are no different...in order for the goals to be reached the Leadership MUST be followed...participants in the organization must submit and follow the direction of the Leader to reach the stated aim....we wont get where we are going if everyone is constantly vying for the role of leader.....

And here in lies the rub....we get together in these groups...relationships....corporations...and its very difficult 1) to get on the same page about a goal or a vision....visioning is hard work and takes effort and communication 2) Leadership can be very difficult....good leadership skills can be taught and must be learned if we are going to ever reach any goals~ 3)Active submission has gotten a bad rep and no one seems to want to do it....The cliche "Too many Chiefs not enough Indians" seems to be the phrase du jour in our Generation......
So as a member of this "Joshua Generations" I like to put my 2cents on my Granddad's favorite question: So what you gonna do about it?~
My 2 cents are~
Use our resources the Twitter/Myspace/Facebook/Friendster/Hi5...etc users and communicate with each other...be it small groups or couples and lets start talking about what we want to accomplish be it healthy marriages and children who are well adjusted and educated that can move things forward.... Lets get in the habit of learning what it takes to be strong leaders for the areas in life we are called to lead...we all have places that we have to bring some leadership skills...so step the collective game UP.....and Finally lets learn how to humbly submit....Practice submitting as a Verb...and act of surrender to the common goal..be it husband/wife....choir memeber/director...teacher/student.....lets learn how to let go of the driver's seat and just ride knowing that we have raised up strong leaders who are going to take us where we want to go~

Current State of things in CandyLand

So I have been in Houston for a year and exactly 6 months. This has been one of the most exciting years for me thus far. Being only 28 I would never presume this to be the best yet...matter of fact age 25 was pretty great...but for less altruistic reasons....low brow mhmmm~ HA~Moving right along......

I am really starting to move forward in a way that I can actually see the progress. I have been in and out of school taking a few legal classes at a time...Actually taking things slowly has helped enormously in terms of focusing on the goals ahead....my sister is forever reminding me to take things bit by bit and not try to eat the whole whale at once.....So that has been working I actually make A's taking two classes at a time instead of dropping classes left and right...I am finally committing~ sort of~ to a home with the purchase of my new condo....Houston is stuck with me for a little while it seems....My career has taken some interesting twists and turns....When I first moved to Texas I was bemoaning the end of an era....For 5 years I worked in private college admissions and it was a turbulent Love affair...I hated to love it...and it paid so well~ But once I got settled here in Texas and stopped looking for work in that field it was like the clouds parted and I was hired to work for an HR firm initially as a full desk recruiter......A hurricane happened and things shifted in my office and I am slowly evolving into some other position that has no real title other than "Business Development"....God is so good even when I am broke and annoyed about my financial status I am still excited about what is being done.....I am working for someone who I respect and admire and that makes it all worth while~ Let me add on to that because it is even more that I know for a fact that I can not only accomplish what she has accomplished but I can do it at a younger age....So to say that this has been an easy year would be a total lie~

Relationships...ahhhhhem the main source of life's frustrations has been a recurrent theme in my little malfunctioning picture show~

Just an update for the avid viewer...I was in a monogomous relationship for that last year give or take a month....and it was awesome!! He is a great guy and we got along on all levels up until the point of his own life's goals and ambitions....It's an amazing thing to watch someone leap out and take risks in the name of their ultimate ambition.....Nothing is sexier than someone with raw talent and ambition to make a go of things.....This guy had all of that...but he lacked something so fundamental that it smacked us both in the face when it came to the relationship and our shared goals.....He lacked Faith...its pretty incredible acutally to say but in realtiy the death of our relationship was his lack of Faith.....Faith in what is always the next question asked...but I say he just in general was so conditioned to not trusting in things to work out that I couldn't even make religious arguement because his lack of faith was just that profound~

I have never been an overly religious person....actually my disdain for somethings religous regularly piss off the more Evangelical people in my life.....but one thing that is a non-negotiable in my life is faith in God...My fundamental truth is that the Universe will conspire in your favor...now the nature of God I have spent time rambling about that in previous blog postings...but ultimately I am a woman of faith~ So he made poor choices based on his lack of faith and as a result we parted ways.... Sad but I learned a lot and had a great time and someone who was really supportive to help me transition from a dysfunctional mess to a mess in progress~lol~